Family Men

Richard J. Gelles quickly synopsizes six theories to reveal how the society of 1993 views domestic violence in his article ‘Through a Sociological Lens: Social Structure and Family Violence’ from Current Controversies on Family Violence.[i] He offers us a system, gives us an economic explanation, and tells us violence is its own subculture, perhaps is a psychosis, and believed by most to be the result of patriarchy. I think it is likely a collection of all of these theories that describe the social problem of family violence. I believe it’s likely a result of more than the collection of theories referenced above. I do know that men are socialized to live in a violent world.

A culture of violence is a system, otherwise how could we speak about its parts and its members? Humans have never created a culture without violence. The eight characteristics in General Systems Theory explain how a family must be structured for violence to be stabilized. I think that this also could translate to a business. Economic stresses have been proven over and over again as major contributors to domestic violence. Although no social class is exempt from family violence, the victims and perpetrators are over represented in the poor and uneducated; violence occurs in predictable neighborhoods. A violent family is a subculture by definition; poor and socio-ethnic minorities congregate together and are over represented in reported family violence. I’ll delve very specifically into this aspect further along. Resource Theory and Exchange/Social Control Theory explain how an abuser understands an environment and interacts with it. Family violence occurs because of the abuser’s beliefs; when violence a method of resolving perceived conflict. This conflict is perception because surely these scores of wives and girlfriends could not be threatening great harm to abusive men. All of these circumstances and attitudes contribute to psychological disorders of many kinds for victims and perpetrators alike. I will go one step further. I will collectively call these theories patriarchy.

I cannot possibly address violence in the home without talking about patriarchy. Patriarchy needs the system, the subculture and psychosis to keep it together. The economics structure of today supports it because capitalism as practiced today is based on greed and fear.[ii] We need a portion of the classes uneducated and without perceived recourse. We must believe in the scarcity of resources for this to go unchallenged. I don’t think it’s any wonder that some are dissatisfied and frustrated with family life and what fulfillment society has to offer. Violence needs patriarchy to sustain itself because it is not the natural reaction of parents to turn violently on members of its own family. Surely this can be seen as a diseased state. Patriarchy’s first victim is infection of the patriarch.

In King’s County, New York, population 2.5 million[iii] there were 226,272 domestic violence incidents and 68 family-related homicides in 2005.[iv] This equals about 11% of the population involved in reported domestic violence and 3% of those were fatal. These figures are not out of the ordinary when looking at the statistics around the United States. They fall well within what we see as the standard domestic violent rates that haven’t significantly changed for over ten years in that one in ten violent crimes are committed by family members.[v]

Last August 10th District Congressman Ed Towns gave a speech dedicating a domestic violence support center. He spoke eloquently to those gathered about victims of domestic abuse. He reminded them that 1,500 women are murdered a year by boyfriends and husbands. He also reminded them that most of this abuse occurs in the home.[vi] He was offering service and support to these abused women and their caregivers. This is something that we would hope tax dollars would fund and politicians would gladly support.

These violent offenders, these boyfriends and husbands, have quite different caregivers. Males comprise 77% of family violence offenders arrested in 2000. Domestic violence amounts to approximately 11% of total violence, but only 3.5% of spouse on spouse violence. Overwhelmingly the perpetrator is male and the victim is a spouse, child or elderly parent.[vii] We have one type of focus and attention for the victims while incarcerating the perpetrators. Every domestic violence hotline, halfway house, or call center would like to have access to the tax payer budget of a prison. The government spends its resources on caregivers for the perpetrators of violence, not on their survivors or families. We build community centers for women and children as victims of abuse and prisons for the perpetrators without much attention to changing it.

We call domestic violence a women’s issue or a family issue, and it most certain is, but I believe it is first and foremost a men’s issue. Of men incarcerated, 14.4% were abused as children.[viii] 49% of the prison population has not completed high school.[ix] Men chose violent solutions to stressful situations. Men believe they are threatened in ways that make violence a learned seemingly logical answer. The overwhelmingly common factor in family violence is one man’s behavior.

I’ve thrown around a great deal of statistics and they do begin to gain a monotonous drum beat. When paired with others a pattern emerges. Some additional statistics from New York Office of Children and Family Services state 13% of Brooklynites only have a 9th grade education. 11% of its population makes less than $25,000.[x] We’ve already learned that 11% of arrests are for domestic violence. Is it any coincidence that these figures mirror each other? Approximately ten percent of the population is poor and under educated. Approximately the same percentage is involved in domestic violence and about four percent of its men are going to prison. What we can do for the lowest ten percent of the population is what we can do for the crime associated with it. What we do for men in this category we do for their families and the futures of their children.

Men are violent because they are socialized to live in a violent world. Men are raised by violent families. This cycle of poverty and substandard education perpetuate a violence that shows itself in domestic violence first and spills out to the community. Where ten percent of the violence stays at home, ninety percent is in the community. When we are willing to socialize men differently we will have less domestic violence.

Understanding why a man chooses violent action to solve a problem is a worthwhile endeavor. Educating the public about how this sort of violence occurs and what to do about it is equally valuable. Providing help for those victimized by family members is the appropriate action of a caring community. Changing the violent lives of men is a necessity. It must be done if we are move out of the destructive cycles of patriarchy.

---

[i] Gelles, Richard J. (1993) Through a Sociological Lens: Social Structure and Family Violence, Current Controversies on Family Violence. Pp. 31-46

[ii] Gaffen, David. February 27, 2007. Fear and Greed in the Markets. Retrieved February 16, 2009, from Wall Street Journal Website: http://blogs.wsj.com/marketbeat/2007/02/22/fear-and-greed-in-markets/

[iii]United States Census Bureau. (2007). Brooklyn Population Info. Retrieved February 16, 2009 from Welcome to Brooklyn Website: http://brooklyn.com/population.html

[iv]Center Against Domestic Violence. (2005). New York Statistics. Retrieved February 16, 2009 from Center Against Domestic Violence Website: http://www.centeragainstdv.org/what/statistics/index.html

[v] United States Department of Justice. (2005). Family Violence Statistics. Retrieved February 16, 2009 from Bureau of Justice Statistics Website: http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/bjs/pub/pdf/fvs02.pdf

[vi]The Congress. (2008). Representative Towns Honors Agencies for Life-Saving Work in Domestic Violence Prevention and Intervention. Retrieved February 16, 2009 from United States House of Representatives Website: http://www.house.gov/list/press/ny10_towns/DV.html

[vii] United States Department of Jusice. (2005). Family Violence Statistics. Retrieved February 16, 2009 from Bureau of Justice Statistics Website: http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/bjs/pub/pdf/fvs02.pdf

[viii]ChildHelp. (2006). Child Abuse in America. Retrieved February 16, 2009. From Child Help Website: http://www.childhelp.org/resources/learning-center/statistics

[ix] National Center for Educational Studies. (1994). Literacy behind Prison Walls Retrieved February 16, 2009 from United States Department of Education Website: http://nces.ed.gov/pubs94/94102.pdf

[x] NYS Children and Family Services (2007) Community Snapshot 2007. Retrieved February 16, 2009. from New York City Government Website: http://www.nyc.gov/html/acs/downloads/pdf/cd_snapshots/brooklyn_cd2_fortgreene_brooklynheights.pdf